Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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