I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
