This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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