Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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