I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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