i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
