Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
