Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
