i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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