How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
