So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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