Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
