You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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