it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
