but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
