We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
