Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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