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Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
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