Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize