We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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