You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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