We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
