wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize