that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
