Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
