She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
handjob tips. give me some.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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