so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
As shirtless as possible
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i think i just lost a toe
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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