yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
