His pubic hair was longer than his dick
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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