all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
