who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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