You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
