i think my mom watched the whole time
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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