She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
