This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
