using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
