I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
