Umm I'm too high to move.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
