I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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