I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
