I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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