I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
