I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
