Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize