i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
