when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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