Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
