Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
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