you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
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just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
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The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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