the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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