i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
