So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
