like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
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I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
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Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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