My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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