smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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